He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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