so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
