My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
