my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
