handjob tips. give me some.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
