It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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