Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize