Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
