that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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