I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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