My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she peed on how many people?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize