i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
