i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
