if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
