he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
