Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
