There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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