btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
