I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize