I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
