Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
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