the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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