I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
