I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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