no, he came in my armpit
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
party gras won. party gras always wins.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
