Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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