Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
