I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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