hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just want nice things and good sex
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
