So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
