GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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