Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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