We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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