I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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