me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
