I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
