the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
