Who did Billy Mays play for?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
