hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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