just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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