in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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