So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
