We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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