There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize