Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
