oh god the rape fog is back!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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