Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
sex in a hospital.. check
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
