you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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