you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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