i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
