ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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