after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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