I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
