Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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