why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize