I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
