if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
