she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
