We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
