You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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